*soft applause*
Thank you, thank you
It is an honor to stand here tonight
Addressing the nation for the first time
As your newly appointed Prime Sinister
It's my pleasure to announce
That poverty rates have doubled
And that we are all angrier with each other
*polite clapping*
I am similarly excited to announce
A new policy I've just come up with
With the simple addition of just six letters
I will turn every park in the country
Into a parking lot
*whoops from the audience*
They will not be anywhere you'd need to park
In fact, cars will not even be allowed inside
This is yet another step in my wider campaign
To actively make things worse for everyone
I hope you are just as excited as I am
To see what else is in store during my time in office
Thank you
*raucous applause*